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the last purchases i will be able to make for TIME were in the juniors section of macy’s which i did not see coming but um

the last time i took a picture of myself sitting curled up on the floor of the shower in this house i was at least as if not more miserable than i am now. the difference is i had been kind of dying here for such a long time, and back then i was about to leave. it was about to be over. 

but now i’m here again, where there is nothing, there’s no purpose and no people and no way out and there’s nothing anywhere and i’m scared i’ll never leave? so so scared. i want to throw up kind of all the time. 

i don’t know how to explain it so that it makes sense, because i’m not processing the ‘why’ i’m just feeling this thing where it’s like pieces of me are ceasing to exist and i don’t know why they’re doing that and i don’t get out of bed and i don’t leave the house and i haven’t seen the sun and i’m having real trouble feeling anything other than this awful nauseous like, internal death feeling? which sounds SO dramatic, especially because i can’t explain it and especially especially because i am aware of how it sounds. i just can’t think of a way to describe it that feels more accurate. it’s like being deprived of oxygen, but emotionally.

the last time i took a picture of myself sitting curled up on the floor of the shower in this house i was at least as if not more miserable than i am now. the difference is i had been kind of dying here for such a long time, and back then i was about to leave. it was about to be over.

but now i’m here again, where there is nothing, there’s no purpose and no people and no way out and there’s nothing anywhere and i’m scared i’ll never leave? so so scared. i want to throw up kind of all the time.

i don’t know how to explain it so that it makes sense, because i’m not processing the ‘why’ i’m just feeling this thing where it’s like pieces of me are ceasing to exist and i don’t know why they’re doing that and i don’t get out of bed and i don’t leave the house and i haven’t seen the sun and i’m having real trouble feeling anything other than this awful nauseous like, internal death feeling? which sounds SO dramatic, especially because i can’t explain it and especially especially because i am aware of how it sounds. i just can’t think of a way to describe it that feels more accurate. it’s like being deprived of oxygen, but emotionally.

my feet look like gross talons because all the blood has rushed to them? i can’t really feel my toes, bc oscar seems so happy & is so cute but, besides that, this picture sums up a lot about me & it’s fun

my feet look like gross talons because all the blood has rushed to them? i can’t really feel my toes, bc oscar seems so happy & is so cute but, besides that, this picture sums up a lot about me & it’s fun

tell me i’m pretty

filter well chosen bycheaplez

tell me i’m pretty

filter well chosen bycheaplez

last night i was gonna go see tacocat but i also had a really fucking awful thursday & wasn’t much better off on friday and my flat iron stopped working and instead i cried and got drunk

tonight i’m wearing what i would’ve worn except i made my hair be not shitty with a curling iron and the last picture looks way more sexual than it was intended like, wow it was just hard to hold my head up but that looks really good so um

thing i bought at american apparel today because alcohol and because job failure and because i tried it on and have eyes

affirm me

three pictures where i am trying to fix my hair but also trying to be cute because, camera

i’m feeling kinda weird/far away but, this is dani in profile she is pretty, i am her. i get to be her! that’s not so bad. she exists and she is me.

these things do help

sassy girl kittens with demanding meows and boundary issues

sassy girl kittens with demanding meows

me & Jess singing “Criminal” last night

i have way more feelings than i need this week/lately but this entire party was fun as hell & positive on levels that overcame scary feelings moments &, i’m so glad i went

i feel strongly that these two pictures were saved side by side in my camera roll for a reason

in many ways this picture defines both me & my internet presence as a whole

in many ways this picture defines both me & my internet presence as a whole