aw you’re really sweet. i think i’m not so much upset about the loss itself, ‘cause you’re right it’s not like either is irreplaceable, but more about how i felt last night anyway, and how i had already been thinking that i need to drink less or at least more responsibly and it’s like, here’s a big example why! i feel like a mess & a fuck-up and this is a thing i do, drink too much and lose shit and feel not like myself.

like, do you ever get that feeling like you just really really want to be a little kid again? and make everything stop moving around you and taking little pieces of you away until you’re just sort of a shell?

and see, obviously, there’s a lot more to it then losing some identification cards (there’s some unfortunate metaphor there, though, huh?). i just only half know my own feelings, most of the time, or at least until much later. so every little thing feels like it’s hurting me when really it’s some other thing i can’t articulate yet.

i’m not making much sense. thank you for saying something kind though, i appreciate it.