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whoa you know i am an emotion BOMB
thoughts that have floated to the top of my head on the subject of emotional honesty that are drunkenly pouring out
so, whenever i say a feeling, i can see how my feelings make other people feel? no. i can feel it. their expression and their demeanor and something intangible about the air like ozone it changes and i can feel it and i know
i wish i didn’t have to know but i always know
so a lot of times it’s hard to say feelings, because it hurts to say them. it hurts a lot on its own and it hurts more if you can literally feel your words being recieved, if you can see it and hear it and know.
i nearly always know or i think i know or i feel like i know and it hurts and that’s the point you know? i forget
i forget that my brain isn’t every brain and my world isn’t the world
but i’m not supposed to make people feel bad
that’s very clear
and i am not supposed to be annoying or extra or difficult or challenging or loud or a problem or anything other than sweet and helpful and quiet and easy and maybe cute if i’m doing well that day but that is fucking ALL, do you understand me?
i am drunk. if you couldn’t tell. i’m erasing all the typos so maybe you can’t.
but these things are true and it is so hard sometimes to feel everything at once and sometimes i think i can’t do it at all.
and then i am a child and i am a burden except, i’m not supposed to be a burden don’t you remember? yeah.
if i’m still this drunk i shouldn’t have been driving
i should not have driven home from the train station
or tried to get gas ‘tried’ ‘cause it was actually closed it took me a few minutes to notice
fuck
mommy has every right to be mad at me but it still makes me so sad
i have to be up early so i have to go to sleep
goodnight
menstrual cramps just ruined a perfectly good sneeze
glompkitty replied to your post: that was maybe the loudest thunder i have ever…
AND NO RAIN
it was raining here, though! it did take a while however
that was maybe the loudest thunder i have ever heard
Send CeCe Books→
CeCe can- and would love to!- receive books in jail. All books need to be new paperback copies sent directly from a publisher or an online bookstore. She can also receive newspaper and magazine subscriptions.
CeCe is very interested in drawing, music, fashion, dance, and pop culture. Please keep her interests in mind when sending her reading materials. The following is a list of items she would like to read. Please email mpls4cece@gmail.com if you send her a book or magazine so we can avoid sending duplicates.
- Runway Uncovered by Ester Vilaseca
- Transgender Liberation: A Movement Whose Time Has Come by Leslie Feinberg
- Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman by Leslie Feinberg
- Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue by Leslie Feinberg
Books and other printed materials can be sent to:
Public Safety Facility
Chrishaun Reed McDonald #2012000296
401 South 4th Avenue
Suite 100
Minneapolis, MN 55415Books and magazines must be addressed using CeCe’s full information above, including the inmate number. The Bureau of Prisons website notes that publications should not be “detrimental to the security, discipline, or good order of the institution, or facilitate criminal activity” so use your best judgement about what you send into the jail.
For info on join CeCe’s book club, check out this page.
I don’t know what to do to best support CeCe right now, but one of my first thoughts is that we can’t let her be forgotten after her sentencing and incarceration. She will need our support throughout, and this seems one way to provide it. (I would probably be careful about sending the books on the above list, as right now there’s probably a high chance for several duplicates being ordered at once.)
CAN WE SEND HER ARTWORK?
I will definitely send a book the first chance I get, but I want to send her some artwork too.
