EMBRACING SADNESS IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA


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To be borderline is to have little sense of who you are or what turns you on. At its extreme, it may mean having to turn to others for cues in order to know when to eat or drink, work or rest, or even laugh or cry. It may mean intensely embracing a person, idea, or thing one day, and having no use at all for it the next. This lack of a constant picture of one’s self, one’s values, or one’s passions is at the heart of the borderline personality. Imagine floating randomly through space without any sense of up or down and without a map to show you either your origin or destination. To be borderline means to lack grounding emotionally and to exist from moment to moment without any sense of continuity, predictability, or meaning. Life is experienced in fragments, more like a series of snapshots than a moving picture. It is a series of discreet points of experience that fail to flow together smoothly or to create an integrated whole.
—Lost in the Mirror: An Inside Look at Borderline Personality Disorder (via shitborderlinesdo)

"…to lack grounding emotionally and to exist from moment to moment without any sense of continuity, predictability, or meaning."

crying again now, so that’s 4

i’m having this significant flashback to a series of moments where i realized that this could easily become a crazy + person who attracts crazy scenario and of ignoring that knowledge because there’s a reason we do the same things over and over again even though they hurt us. because ‘this is different’ which really means ‘this feels good, and the other times didn’t feel good at all’ conveniently ignore-forgetting that they all felt good at first, but it all ends here. with the emptiness and pieces of a life you never felt belonged to you and internal shattering sadness.

smith-q-and-a:

just a few of the signs we made today for our rally on april 24 starting at 8:30AM! thanks to everyone who came out. 

i’m going to start keeping a tally of how many times i cry each day, because it isn’t already miserable and secondhand embarrassing enough to be following this blog

3 so far, btw

Anonymous asks: Sally draper slaying your faves

i know right? i have actually really enjoyed watching don draper’s descent into reality - which is really what it is, he was always an alcoholic cheater slash shitty dad, he just managed to bullshit his way through before, i feel like. but, there’s something satisfying about it, and sort of comforting. i don’t know what that says about me.

i mean, the controlling dismissive contained hostility thing that he really sold earlier in the show will always be wrong-attractive, ‘cause i’m fucked up. but the descent is different fascinating.

also of course, my real joy in that scene was sally’s pent up hurt coming out all bitter and venom-y after time spent doing surface pleasantries bs and acting like everything is fine.

theparisreview:

“Rome says: enjoy me. London: survive me. New York: gimme all you got.”
Read Zadie Smith’s story from our Spring issue, now available in its entirety online.

theparisreview:

“Rome says: enjoy me. London: survive me. New York: gimme all you got.”

Read Zadie Smith’s story from our Spring issue, now available in its entirety online.

i am as always very good at avoiding things that would help me

when you need kindness but go out of your way to make sure that doesn’t happen

i wish it was raining

a woman will tell you
every home she has ever inhabited
has been broken into
starting with her body.
—Suheir Hammad, “Letter to Anthony/Critical Resistance” (via mangoestho)

(Source: larmoyante)

cagey crazy girl feat. garbage and a wine bottle

sally motherfucking draper

"do you know how hard it was for me to go to your apartment? i could’ve run into that woman. i could be in the elevator, and she could get in, and i’ll have to stand there, smiling, wanting to vomit while i smell her hairspray"

i am always like the craziest girl

i feel for the craziest girl

i love the craziest girl

i am one of the crazy girls and i need to not try and forget that when i really want some fucking boy to think i’m strong or special or good

it is SO EASY TO FORGET because safety is addictive

the kind of safety i can’t make for myself

fuck everything