lmao @ ppl who are liking my Instagram post with my legs and a hammer like, gotcha, I bet you don’t think you’re ‘liking’ how much I love pain! whoops
& by all that I mean I’m really uncomfortable
see this is why I have to not post here, it’s probably unhealthy
I’m also feeling p into this tumblr as opposed to my more current one bc this one is in no way connected to a person I can’t handle thinking about
there’s also that
hey old tumblr, if you remember this blog/me/anything/etc tell me, I’m curious, & I guess that into attention rn
like, how many of the thousands of you even still know you’re following me?? what do you recall of me?
tell me tell me
again
this is so sweet and so accurate and, thank you 😇💗
if only I had more than negative $20 in checking or I would buy it from iTunes right now
hey old tumblr, if you remember this blog/me/anything/etc tell me, I’m curious, & I guess that into attention rn
like, how many of the thousands of you even still know you’re following me?? what do you recall of me?
tell me tell me
I don’t entirely know why I’m using this blog again, even briefly, except it’s the longest chronicle of me and that’s something, in my mind.
life update: everything is kind of falling apart, or, no. everything is uncertain and I don’t like uncertainty, but it’s not the end of the world. the bad things are more that I’m pretty sure everyone who knows me finds interacting with me to be an insufferable chore, and I’ve gained weight and have once again become terrified of food. but the life stuff just is what it is. my unhappiness is always just in my head.
bye again, everyone.
(Source: bookstoner)
URGENT: OFFERING ASSORTED SERVICES TO PAY FOR VETERINARY CARE.
For those of you who know me even a little bit, you know that Ezra Katnig is my world. I suffer from debilitating anxiety, and just having this little furball in my life has made it that much more manageable. Anyone with a pet will understand how it feels to have a little soul that is one with your own. I would do absolutely anything for my baby.
Despite my frantic efforts to keep him indoors, my housemates have left their bedroom windows open on many occasions, and this little escape artist still manages to get outside. Yesterday, I noticed a lump near his spine - upon further inspection, it appears that he was either bitten by another animal, or got stabbed by something sharp and slender. The wound drained, I cleaned it thoroughly, but it’s back and bigger than it was before. The second photo shows the lump, which is about the size of a golf ball. Thankfully, he is fully-vaccinated, but I am terrified of this infection spreading. To make matters worse, I will be away from home for a few weeks as of Monday, working a seasonal job, and will be unable to monitor him. This is seriously stressing me out.
My car broke down several months ago, and I live in the middle of nowhere, so I have not been able to find traditional employment. My remote job pays just enough to cover my monthly expenses. After this seasonal job ends, I will have funds, but it won’t be for another month or so. I’m embarrassed that I, as a pet owner, am unable to cover this emergency expense at the moment.
I know there are more pressing matters in this world, but Ezra needs veterinary care urgently, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to raise these funds ASAP! Below are a list of services I can provide:
- Proofreading/writing services
- Resume building
- Tarot card reading (no, seriously, I give amazing readings)
- Custom cross-stitch or knitted goods
- Write and record a song just for you, with my above-average uke and vocal skillz.
- Basically, anything that can be done using my computer
If you are able to assist in any way, please feel free to PM me! I have a Dwolla account already set up for my remote work, that operates similarly to PayPal. I would not ask for help if I didn’t feel it was dire that he go to the vet. If you are not in the position to help financially, it would help me tremendously if you could signal boost this post.
Thank you.
- Holly
reblogging on my follower-heavy tumblr bc important!! I can personally speak to Holly’s amazing ability to take pretty much anything & make it seem professional and amazing. have a wing and a prayer? have less than that? w/e, she can probably make it seem professional and amazing. can also personally speak to her awesome insightful af tarot card readings, & how much she loves animals especially hers & especially this bb cat. pls help if you can!!
Abusers purposely set aside a group of people that they have not abused in order to put up a facade that they’re a good person.
So if someone says, “But omg they’re nice to me!” be wary. Be really wary.
They are very good at deceiving those they don’t abuse and it’s not unusual if they are quite popular and very charming amongst people and that’s why they’re ‘good’ at trapping someone. You will obviously fall for their fake personality and once they have you, that’s when the abuse will occur and this is one reason why victims/survivors find it hard to believe/recognise they are being abused (more common if there’s no physical abuse). It’s really sly and disgusting but it’s sometimes hard to tell from the outside, unfortunately.
this makes me think of someone who damn near everyone I know still thinks is an okay and cool person, and I’ll never have a leg to stand on and I know it and that’s fine, but god damn if this isn’t exactly it.
I would pay someone to tie me up & actual cut me. like, in small ways & small places because of the reality of the discomfort & debilitation of healing wounds but, I would fucking do it. it’d be terrifying and awful but also like amazing painful cathartic. I have so much pain that I don’t know what to do with or where to put it. that shit would be perfect.
if I do a good thing it means just as little if not less, so I don’t care. there’s nothing I can do to feel okay. non option. fuck this. I wish I had a brick wall, I wish I was in a coma, I am SO GOD DAMNED TIRED OF PRETENDING I DON’T WANT TO SAY THIS KINDA SHIT I AM SO TIRED OF PRETENDING I’M SANE ENOUGH TO LOCK IT IN BETTER, I AM NOT. I AM NOT. I’m gonna be 27 and I am so sick of it all.
hate
